Colleen

My Stressful Life

2012-02-28T12:51:00.001-08:00

So many bad things are happening right now in my life, that it is so unreal. Everything from my grandma having a heart cauterisation to me still getting over my recent break up, to my grades to my mom and I not EVER getting along, to OGT's recently coming up, to my severe depression.

It is so hard to deal with all of that at once, it really is. I honestly feel like shutting down, I mean this is too much to take on, I'm trying to graduate not solve all of the worlds problems at once. I don't know, I just have to find some different strategies to make all of this work. When I really look at it, I don't have a lot on my plate, not as much as others do. I still feel like I have a lot, but I don't.

Graduation is just around the corner, plus prom, plus everything else in life. The next scary step in life; adulthood. I think I need to get in some yoga classes and/or just meditate.

Happy Post !

2012-02-22T14:39:00.000-08:00

Today I meant this new guy. I do not want so say his name, yet. He happens to be a senior as well. This guy is sweet, has that soothing voice, and amazing looking eyes. He is not that much taller than me either! Finally, a guy that is not that much taller than I am. That is actually what I have been waiting for, for the longest time. With Stephen, I had to get on my tippy toes to kiss him and it was weird holding hands with him. Though I do still miss Stephen and cannot wait to get back together with him, i need to be able to live my own Senior year and have fun, while I'm on this break. Because, I have found out that I am really in love with Stephen, an undescribable love that cannot be explained by words but only by actions.

Stephen and I had a relationship where we did say I love you, but we also did show much affection in public, we were never the kind of couple to always have the need of holding hands or other weird stuff in public that all of us unfortunately have to see every day. We did not always have to talk every day either. I just know in my heart that when I am around him, I feel safe and loved. I know that we will get back together and work out.

Anyways, that was a random little paragraph about Stephen. Back to the new guy, for now. So he asked me out on a date for not this Saturday, but next Saturday. So, I said once my work schedule is up, then it will be a for sure yes, but I did tell him yes anyways. I would just get someone to cover my shift.

ahhhhhhhhh, I am so happy that I found someone different and my height. Today, he walked me to a couple of my classes and held my binders that I could not fit into my backpack. He is too sweet. Even though today I thought that I looked bad, he complimented me. I cannot wait for this date, I really can't!

2012-02-14T14:32:00.000-08:00

Well a couple posts ago, I talked about Stephen and how he was going to the dance with another girl. I said that I needed your feedback and opinions. Well, no one gave me their opinions. So, that's okay he dumped me anyways. He said it was mainly because of school, his grades, and the army. He used the stupid line of, "It's not you, it's me". I hate that line. I think that he cheated on me. with the girl that he went to the dance with. Maybe I did something wrong.

I didn't get any sleep last night because I was crying all night. Today I couldn't focus in any of my classes and I feel like I lost apart of me. I feel like he completed me and that I really did love him.

2012-02-13T15:04:00.000-08:00

I do not know why people think that it is okay to make fun of or talk about other people. To their face or behind their backs, it still does not make it right. People need to learn how to treat others with respect and need to learn how to be respectful. When you know that the person your going to be talking about is right in front of you, how about you not talk about them and keep your comments to yourself, because no one cares.

Do you think this is cheating?

2012-02-11T16:08:00.000-08:00

I need your opinions and feedback on this blog, please...

So I have been dating this guy named Stephen Guendert since August 11, 2011. Today is actually our 6 month. Which is kind of exciting, but not really and here is why. Stephen goes to Virginia Tech for ROTC and Biology and/or Chemistry (that is what he is majoring in). Well, about three to four weeks ago, he told me that he had a Military Ball that he is required to attend and he is required to bring a date. So he didn't have the smarts to ask me, so I asked him who he was going to take and he responded with, "I don't know". Dumbest answer I think that I have ever heard. Anyways, I'm not getting into full details. Why? Because it makes me angry to think about it. Long story short I ended up planning to come up there for a couple nights and he basically said well, you would have to get a hotel room for two nights and it costs a lot, plus gas or airline ticket, and on top of that getting a dress that meets the requirements. So I did not end up going. He asked this girl to go, that was Stephen's roomates friend (side note: his roomate has a girlfriend) and Stephen and this girl have already been in a couple photos on Facebook together and she is ALLLLLLLLL over him. Well, anyways she doesn't even go to VT, she is from Minnisota. It's dumb, whatever. I was cool with it until we were talking and he said that the award ceremony was super duper formal and then after that it was just like a club. He told me specifically that he would not do ANYTHING with her, and I said that I trust him. Then again, he did say grinding was aloud and that he did not want to be a bad date but he would "try as hard as possible" to not do that with her or any other girl for that matter. I told him that if he really wanted to be with me that he wouldn't do anything like that with her. He said that he promised, so all I can do is try and trust him and hope for the best.

OH, and one last thing, you know how I said in the beginning that today is our 6 month? Yeah, today's also the night of the Military Ball....

So I need opinions and feedback on if you think or don't think this is cheating..

2012-02-07T08:43:00.000-08:00

Technology these days are so hard to keep up with. So, in that case I may be the one and only person who is doing this but I don't care. I'm the kind of person that does not have any desire to keep up with the latest gadget. For Christmas I got the Galaxy S ll which is one of the newest things that I have gotten in awhile. Other than that, I don't really have any desire or need to have the latest gadget. It's like every two weeks there's an updated phone, ipod, ipad, etc. So, what's the point of keeping up with all the new stuff? In my opinion, there's not. Why? Because, the prices go up everytime they upgrade, it's a waste of money, and they are not that much different from the phones, ipods, ipads, etc from the one before.

2012-02-05T16:13:00.001-08:00

Everyone has a purpose and everyone has a place, it's just the motivation and effort that makes us hesitate. We need to just live life, but in the right ways. That means; smart decisions, being yourself, not giving into peer pressure, and having a good group of friends.

Far too often I see people who have sooooo much potential but don't want to do anything about it. JUST DO IT.

2012-02-05T16:13:00.000-08:00

Oh my goodness. I cannot believe that it's 3-4 months away from graduation! In my years of high school, I never thought that it would go this fast. I'm definitely going to have regrets, I mean everyone at least has one. Some of mine are just that I haven't really been that involved in school activities, the musicals, or plays. I could have joined more groups and stuff. I guess I wasn't really motivated enough for that. No excuses. I need to make the most of it, so I'm going to be getting more involved in activities, such as: The Spring musical or behind the scenes, S club, and writing club. So maybe I won't have many regrets after all.